2000pts of Monkey Business

Between working on my Jokaero and coming across an unorthodox 40k blog post, I present to you "Monkey Business".

HQ:

Inquisitor Coteaz. 100pts

Troops:

Jokaero Weaponsmith x10. 350 pts

Jokaero Weaponsmith x10. 350 pts

Jokaero Weaponsmith x10. 350 pts

Jokaero Weaponsmith x10. 350 pts

Jokaero Weaponsmith x10. 350 pts

Heavy Support:

Dreadnought, 2x Twin Linked Autocannons, Psybolt Ammunition, Extra Armor. 150 pts.


I'll be throwing this against Canadin's Green Tide late this afternoon to see what happens. While it might look like an INCREDIBLY stupid list, keep in mind, that is FIFTY Las Cannons on the field, and FIFTY heavy flamers for when the Orks get too close for my liking. The Dread is mostly there to fill points and look pretty.

Just make Adam roll your dice instead of his own :-)

*laughs*

When you field the list.. Will you have any gw models ? Hehe..

Its funny to make these lists.. But to actually play it is taking it to a new level.

I cant see this list ever winning. No mobility, low tgh, no assault. Orks is prob one of thw worst matchups just for tge fast movement and you only have one shot weapons.

Tell me how it went..

Mission: Seize Ground.
Deployment: Dawn of War

First Turn Goes To: Kult of Speed!!!

When Tom said he was bringing Grey Knights, I assumed I was going to face up against Dreadknights, and lego knights. But then I see the list: 50 monkeys, Coteaz, and a Dreadnaught...

I tell him that this isnt going to work, even if he has 50 lascannons. Like, It takes a LOT more than that to break through a Kustom Force Feild on some BattleWagons. But he's like, "Nahh, 50! lascannons, thats like 25 hits, 12.5 get through KFF, thats 2 glances and 2 pens. Ill defnitly de-mek your Big Mek"

Anyways, so no terrain. Desert combat style. I deploy Wazdakke GutsMek, a 5 boy biker squad, and a 3 boy biker squad in midfeild ready to charge at the monkey platoon. Tom deploys 20 monkeys and Coteaz. No Seize of the innitiative success.

Turn 1: Kult of Speed
Bikers move up full speed and open up with twin-linked dakka gun fire, downing 3 monkeys in 1 squad and 2 in the other. My new Fancy Dakkajet screams across the feild joining Wazdakka's biker squad, rest of the army moving full speed center feild.

Turn:1 Jokaero Weaponsmith Army
Everyone walks on, Coteaz's Squad Lascannons down 3 Warbikers, The dreadnaught gets a single shaken result on teh dakkajet, and a fresh monkey squad roasts my other biker squad with 19 heavy flamer hits. Wazdakka's squad breaks moral, but being such a great boss, GutsMek smashes the Nobz' head in with his bosspole and keeps the bikers in line. Monkeys prepare for the worst.

Turn 2: Kult of Speed.
Trukk with Meganobz zooms ahead and drops its payload. Skorcha Nob roasts 2 monkeys. Wazdakka and boyz ride up to Coteaz's squad and shoots em up. The dakkajet goes supersonic to retreat due to not be able to shoot this turn, and the battlewagons get even closer to the monkey legion. Nobz charge monkeys, but only kill a few thanks to invul monkey bits, combats persists. Coteaz attempts to invoke the "Inhospitable Ground" psychic power, but rolls an 11, so no effect. Wazdakka Rips Coteaz to Shreds 3 times over with his mighty Power Klaw, Bikers beat on the monkeys, they break moral and run off the table.

Turn 2: Jokaero Weaponsmiths
20 lascannons into the Big Mek's Battlewagon! The penetrating results are shaken off by the KFF, and the glances only cause a shaken result. The Dreadnaught shoots down one and a half deffkoptas, but they dont fail moral. 8 multimeltas do a great job of annihilating the Meganob'z Trukk, causing a violent explosion resulting in the death of a number of monkeys. Squad tangled up with meganobz is beaten to death.

Turn 3:Kult of Speed
WAAAAUUUGGH!!!!

DakkaJet takes it 18 Twin Linked, BS 3, Pinning, Supa Shoota Shots into the far monkey squad, 10 wounds, 8 dead. Burna Boys WAAAUGH and smash into another squad, beating it to death. Shoota Boyz bring the dakka down on the 2 survivors of the Dakka Jet's strafing run. Wazdakka breaks off from his boyz to go after the dreadnaught himself, which he wrecks with his power klaw. The Boyz and the meganobz smahs into the last monkey squad and wipe it. And that was it.

I had wondered what it would be like facing off against 50 lascannons... actually not all that bad if they have zero mellee deterrance and everything orky has either speed cover, KFF cover, or dust/smoke cloud cover.

I don't know what game you played, but it doesn't sound like 40k. No terrain?

Well, we put the table down, and We figured that the only thing terrain would do is give me more cover. So we agreed to place nothing.

There's also the fact that he has no actual terrain pieces at his house, and I didn't want to have to spend time putting away books before Dark Heresy started.

I think we should have MORE matches like this. Fun stories and such.

I'm all for playing with goofy lists. Heck, I own, and play, Flayed Ones. They're terrible.

Here's the thing Tom, Adam.

Terrain is about more than hampering shooting armies. Terrain allows for tactical advantage. In this case, it'd allow the Monkeys to hole up into some terrain to shoot out of, and allow the Monkey's to go first in close combat when the Orks assault.

Here's something counter-intuitive about Orks. They aren't so hot in close combat sometimes. A mob of 20 boyz that loses 5 or 6 boyz before they get to attack really cuts down on their dice (that's 20 less attacks). With Fearless wounds (Assuming you're playing against a terrible Ork player that doesn't put Power Klaws in EVERY UNIT) Orks lose a lot against even mediocre-able assault units.

Now, the thing about playing against Adam (sorry Adam, but this frustrates me when I play against you, but you're very tactically sound and I like the challenge). He's got some dice that consistently roll high, and some dice that consistently roll low. I'm not surprised that his KFF saved all those lascannon pens. That said, a couple people have complained about my Red dice, they aren't loaded, I'm just compulsive and like to roll things that match. The Red dice came from a Risk set, and just this Friday rolled 2 snake-eyes in a row. They roll their fair share of poor scores. Not like Adam's dice that will make 8/9 5+ invul saves every game, or never miss with a BS4 lascannon.

Tom, it's critical that you play a more diverse set of people to get a feel for certain strategies and tactics, it'll make you a better player.

Also, never play a game that doesn't have >= 25% terrain coverage on the board.

Again, the lack of terrain came down to the fact that I hate playing in the "library" tile set. The only terrain Adam currently has is text books. The space we were using for 40k was also used for the pen-and-paper gaming immediately after, and made the transitioning from one to the other quicker in that all we had to do was put armies back in their boxes and the plywood "table" back into the storage room.

As for melee, monkeys are stuck with weapon skill 1 and a distinct lack of melee tech. I knew that as soon as green touched orange, the squad was fated to die.

On the topic of dice, as of late I have taken to the practice of one set of dice shared between two players. So for Kult vs Monkey Business we simply used Adam's dice, and in the case of Dom's IG vs my 'Crons, we simply used my dice. This kindly takes the "dice advantage" problem out of the whole affair, because the die are just as likely to roll good for me as to roll good against me.

I am all up for playing a more diverse group of people/armies, hence my last Thunderdome thread asking to play someone from the League list that didn't have points next to their name. I haven't played against most of the people in that part of the list, and there is a good chance that they run an army I haven't fought yet. I know I haven't faced off against Dark Eldar, Grey Knights, Tau, Blood Angels, Sisters of Battle, or Space Wolves yet, nor a lot of the variants of the armies I have faced so far. Heck, the only time I've even seen Chaos Daemons thus far was at the last tournament, and he had few things that lasted more than a round due to poor reserve rolls, so one or two guys would show up, and my whole army would say hello.

Wed/thurs this week brings me a match with Gluvzer, whom I have never played before, and truth be told I don't even know what army to expect from him. My list construction has been largely concerned with the fact that should I win round 1, round 2 will be against a Necron list that has 60 more points to work with than myself. *cough cough*

I should of actually included everyones armies in the playoff thread.

It helps planning your list knowing your opponents since you already know the scenarios. Id assume ryans playing blood angels or marines.. But he could always whip out guard.

Tom: I've actually never really gotten that here (sharing dice). You roll to hit, you roll to wound, THE WOUNDS ARE THERE ON THE TABLE, yet we all then pick up our our *preciouses* and roll our saves with them.... I think we need more drinking going on at the den, really:) We all take this WAY too seriously at times.

As far as playing more people.... I get what you are saying. I've been playing regularly for more than a year, and there are still a TON of people I haven't played, granted most of them will table me in a an hour and a half:)

Dark Eldar, Grey Knights, Tau, Blood Angels, Sisters of Battle, or Space Wolves: Keep asking, most of those are out in force. I know a few people have Tau, they just don't play them, and Selik (Kevin) has some sweet SoB. I saw someone (Kyle?) playing Black Templars last year at a tourney and haven't seen em since. I think I've faced all teh codexes except them and Daemons...

Admittedly, sharing dice comes a lot easier when only one person brings dice. Dom did remember his Codex, though!

As soon as this league is over im going to be off playing gk for awhile.. Although i might explore some henchmen lista.
Im a big chaos fan.. Which includes daemons.. Only problem is they are such a crappy rihht now.. But i would be willing to whip them out if someone requested. Against necrons though.. Might be ugly. As in.. Deep strike in... Dissapear in a round of shooting.. Repeat..

In a more standard GK list I'd probably only ever run 4 Jokaero, 2 per squad. General set up of 2 Monkeys, 3 Multimelta Servitors, 3 Melta Acolytes. Just roll around in a Chimera like a bunch of kids on Christmas Day, rushing to see what they got in their metal boxes hidden under the tree.

Playing different players is more important than the armies they play.

People are going to have a different experience playing against Your 'crons than Paz's 'crons, John's 'crons, Other Tom's 'crons, or my 'crons.

Same with space puppies or Dark Eldar, etc...

You'll have a great game against Mr. Glover for the league playoffs, and that's exactly what I mean, and a great style of player to learn from.

@Lore Weaver: My dice roll prefectly fine.

Uze just jealous cuz mine R prettier than urz

canadin wrote:Uze just jealous cuz mine R prettier than urz

Can't argue there :-)